The Book of NutZ is back into being

We think of the ups and the downs in our lives, and finally figure out the shit people spew everywhere. There is an unending stream of this utterly useless, factless crap that is constantly bombarded at us, from SPAM in our emails, random messages / ads on our cellular phones and even stupid posts on our walls. This people is not an additional entry into the book of Nutz but this is but a notice. what people will worship in the future the writings and teachings of a egoistical megalomaniac will be written in this life or the next. if anyone reads it i don't really care.

In the light i am the darkness

The pain surging through my body, the stench of death clinging to my clothes, the metallic taste of blood in my mouth. Blood seeping into organs. I can feel it draining away, a vision comes, I see light yet in the light I know I am the darkness. My doom awaits me, then suddenly my darkness grows like a pillar in the light; the pain, the excruciating pain. It starts from my legs searing like a branding iron, up my torso it shoots into my head. Heat pulsating through my entire head ready to explode, my eyes burn I scream into the abyss of light knowing there is no escape. The wounds heal, the pain triples but all the wounds heal. I find myslef in my armour of darkness the pain keeping my sanity. The light burns, the light is evil, the light is death. But in the darkness I am safe. I feel breeze blowing around me, but there is nothing, there is no air, there is no ground, nothing but the searing light and the darkness that protects me. I feel something through the darkness, it is of my soul itself. I can manipulate it, wrap it around me project it forwards, repelling the light it is an extension of my mind, my skin in the void. I travel, I look around and I feel bliss, the dark comforts me, I know my self i have consiousness, as I manipulate the darkness the pain recedes. Soon the feeling of bliss is all over me, covering merging with the darkness. Time has no value, no meaning, I realize I am dead, there is no heaven, there is no hell, only the light that is true death the death of the soul and the darkness that protects me. I am in limbo, I will not burn myself, I will not succumb to the light, I will remain in the darkness, I will be true to myself. I master the darkness and wander. I see other dead and dying moving away from the darkness into the excruciating pain of light, then their darkness joins mine, giving mine more power. As my strength increases so does my understanding and my darkness encompasses all. I realize i can save many souls by using all the darkness to engulf the light, I can win. But for the souls to be save i have to sacrifice some to the light. I rule the darkness, my empire, my realm, i absorb the dark of a hundred thousand souls, my realm is of bliss. I rule justly and wisely and those that oppose me are expelled into the light. Soon the light is gone but a sliver remains for me to punish those that oppose. My realm turns to anarchy soon all those in it have their skins turned into scales, monsters and beasts they attack each other, they try and attack me but I control the darkness and i expel them from my realm. I watch my subjects and their bliss turn into rage and malice. The truth dawns, I have created the void and i must destroy it, I have not saved anyone, I have doomed everyone. I draw in the darkness to me, the malice burns my skin, the pain tries to take over, my body yearns for the bliss once had but now non-existent, but I know i must. No longer does the dark heal me it consumes me. I draw it closer, soon I draw it all, but I see some left I move towards it but there is no darkness left to protect me, the pain burns, my skin starts sizzling and melting I look towards the darkness I see it. I see the darkness, I see me in the darkness, I see nothing.

New tidings

when we stop and think about our live we wonder why does this happen to me? what have i done? why did we not pay attention?

attention why do we not pay attention to the ones we love without attention they wander!! do they still think about you? do they actually want to think about you? questions without any answers start to form!!! never do we realize what we have lost or what we have found!!! when ones peceptions do relent their guards are let down the percieverance that is eventually our life ned!! we fall into and endless pit of despair waiting for our lifeline for her to pull you back out........
the declerations of truth are never known but they are there! you just have to look inside yourself inside her and firgure them out..... never have we ever seen a day a night not even a month without pleasure when they are absent! never has one slept in peace with the knowledge that which was once lost is not again found!!!!

in the end we wonder are we doing the right thing? should we stay the course? and have the decisions we made been the right ones? never will we find out these answers till the end...... and the end is too late!!!

Our world

When i think i believe, when i believe i know, when i know i understand and underdtanding is the key......... albert einstein once wrote:

"Peace cannot be achieved through violence; it can only be attained through understanding."

this shows the basic mode of logical thought.... through understanding one may reach to one another we may take the time an learn, watch and maybe the world will be a better place.

the last sentence is not one which i truly believe but wat we hope to believe. everytime news comes my way by both the written and spoken word i hear nothing but oppression, deciept and the pervailance of the so called evils of man. most go praised as the acts against violence, war against terrorism, but great authors and philosphers have had one common veiw violence is not an answer for violence. even once when people chanted "an eye for an eye" gandhi once said "and the whole world will go blind" what i see is the world going blind one child, innocent at a time. from iraq to the sudan people have fought. every army beleived that they were giving justice. both views a soldier alwayz fights for peace but that peace never comes so why do we fight..... one common view power...... that is all man posses and wants.. absolute power over his fellow man.. we can see it our schools, our homes and sadly by those who lead us. i wonder why so few who have come to power truly wished a world to be a better place. the league of nations the dream of woodrow wilson one man who believed the world be united in peace but also sent the americans to fight in world war one against the kaisers army. never can a man live in peace without the guilt that comes... why do i live yet an innocent child dies. i and millions like me are fortunate that we live in a plcae where war does not dare to arrive because the economy of those that require power need cities such as these... hubs of corruption and money..... the death of untold millions over the past millenia has been to just furhter the dreams of many a man... wat dreams are worth the price of one life let alone millions.... never have we underestimated the power of religion..... the greatest and earliest source of persuasion of man was reliogion... countlies have died and still die for what they believe.. everyone should follow their stream of thought....... this is absurd........more than 50 years since einstien uttered this quote one has wondered why doesn't anyone listen.. of his theories in quantum physics many experiment have proven him correct one major advancement will be finished next year the creation of a black hole... 10000 scientists of different nationalities, races and religion will strive for one goal.... but nobody strives for the ultimate goal.... peace.....

i apologise for this post as it was the only thing i could come up with a prose i didn't want to write as i would have to think hard and i have nothing else to see as my goal has dirfted from me and the vision has all but left...............

the doom of my heart

As i lay on the sand the sweet smell of the sea in my face i closed my eyes, i searched my heart i searched my soul. I found an emptiness that is no longer a stranger. A void that comforts, that creates loniliness ..... never does my heart intend what it should, never does my life create the pain witheld....... the true intentions of the heart conflict with those of the mind... witht the never ending internal strife the soul watches, confused, dazed,... completly innocent never allowing our battle to surface..... once it was said that in todays modern world nothin truly is private............the time i try the time i spend the courage gathered evaporates as the daughter and epitome excapes my grasp.... she is my ambrosia..... the one who unifies me and yet tears me apart... never do i create the extasy of my friends as i lack the courage they possess.......

Enticement of the Soul

The vision occurs casting no shadow of doubt, never does it crumble. Weathering all hate and storm, it emerges unscathed. The strenght provided rejuvinates the heart. Never is the vision a recrudesence, it is bt a ray of hope and sunshine. Never would it betray the trust endowed, never would it leave fate to hope alone. Yet the vision exists for hope, joy and . Alone without the vision was a void never fullflilled by the greastes pleasure.As i sit alone by th sea the breeze blowing in my face, the cruelty of solitude for my sould is all i face. Never can my heart fill the void left by the visison I was broken i was lonesome, now the vision restores my hope..........